Why joy should be a non-negotiable
It can be all too easy to dismiss the things in life that you love, those little things that light you up and bring you joy, as ‘silly.’ When we have a lot on our plate, one of the first things we ditch are the simple pleasures. Why is that? Why do we regularly treat joy as an expendable luxury, in the moments we need joy most?
Well, I’m here to give you a permission slip to prioritize joy—every day, regardless of how good or bad you may be feeling. And here’s why.
Joy is human nature
St. Augustine, a fourth century philosopher, had the simple belief that you are what you love. He fervently believed that we human beings are made up of our longings and desires.
As we discussed on the blog earlier in the month, it’s important that you take the time to notice and articulate your joys. That’s because joy is inextricably linked to identity. What brings me joy might not necessarily bring you joy, and vice versa. Knowing what joys are fundamental to who you are, naming them and calling awareness to them, helps you protect them. Treat your joys as signposts guiding you toward what you need more of in your life. They exist for a reason—pay attention.
Happiness starts with gratitude
Happiness is one of the most noble pursuits we pursue, as humans. This sentiment is beautifully expressed in a TED Talk by Brother David Steindl-Rast, a monk and interfaith scholar. From his perspective, happiness is born from gratitude—from taking the time to slow down, reflect on your life, and call out specific things you’re grateful for.
Incorporating a practice of gratitude into your daily life can be as simple as thinking of three things you’re grateful for every day. Best done as a morning practice (to open your day on a positive note) or as a part of your bedtime routine (to reflect on your day and send you off into sleep), you have so much opportunity to make a gratitude practice your own. You can think about these three things in your head, or write them down in a journal. Or, if you have a significant other, consider exchanging gratitudes out loud to one another.
When it comes to what you’re grateful for, there are no limits. You can call out the small things you’re grateful for or the ‘capital F’ Fundamentals, relationships that give you joy or intellectual pursuits that make you feel challenged and stretched. The important thing is to push yourself to consider new things you’re grateful for every day.
Bringing gratitude into your consciousness primes you to think more positively about your life. You’ll find that, over time, you’ll spend your day looking for things that you’re grateful for, preparing for your practice. All of a sudden, gratitude will be all around you. And it’s much harder to be overwhelmed, to get bogged down in the minutiae of your life, when you’re regularly considering all of the things that are going right.
Prioritizing joy
We actually have more control over our emotions than we realize. When we need joy most, in those moments when we’re feeling down or stressed, we push it away. In other words, we treat joy as an expendable emotion. Sometimes, when we’re in survival mode, joy does feel that way: frivolous. But the truth is, there is always space and time for joy, if we’re willing to make that time.
Carving out the space and time for joy creates a positive feedback loop within us—joy begets more joy. When you tell your brain that joy is important and make more space in your life for the joyful moments, you’re sending your brain a message that pleasure and happiness deserve attention.
Hungry for more reading about the science of happiness? I wholeheartedly recommend digging into the World Happiness Report. The mission of the report, now in its eighth year, is to measure and understand subjective well-being, using a variety of surveys delivered across 150 countries to consider how our environment impacts our happiness. It’s a fascinating read, whether you want to learn more about happiness in your own country, or see what trends exist among the happiest nations among the world.
