Our Family Screentime Principles
March 11th is the Day of the Luddites.
Here in the Crook household, with children ages 13, 11, and 9, we are living our own best 21st-century Luddite lives. We prioritize paper books and in-person connections. Our kids have no phones and we have no intention of giving them one. They have iPads for messaging friends, school, and personal projects and those devices are limited to common areas in the home.
Our family has chosen to build a place-based life, choosing the local public school for its walkability and hosting an annual Halloween pumpkin carving party for our neighbourhood for five straight years. It’s a way of living that brings us meaning and joy.
My husband and I are emboldened in our decision to dictate our children’s device use by the best available research on cyber-based stress, loneliness, and cognitive outcomes.
We teach our kids how to navigate the digital world, rather than shielding them from it, following the advice of Dr. Alexandra Samuel to be our kids’ tech teachers. We put in the work to understand the technology, engage in it with our children, and set boundaries on their behalf.
Young people appreciate boundaries and guidelines when they're clear and consistent (and consulted on how they're enacted). It’s what all (young) people need.
Because so many of you have asked, I am sharing…
The Crook Family Screentime Principles:
We are a family that values*:
Peace
Truth
Courage
Generosity
We observe a difference between:
Using technology as a tool to support a goal
Using technology to consume entertainment
We believe our activities fall into a hierarchy from most valuable to less valuable:
Investing time and energy in our spiritual life is the most valuable thing we can do
Connecting with other people in a meaningful way is the next most valuable
Looking after our bodies is next (activity, hygiene, eating)
Living up to our responsibilities and commitments is next
Pursuing our goals, developing new skills, and creating things is next
Intentional effort and practice are better than mindless activity
Appreciating the creative work of other people (entertainment) is next
When we choose what creative work to consume, we should prioritize work that serves the higher things on this list
We should also prioritize work more highly that reflects more effort and intention on the part of the creator (give your attention to things that are worthy of it)
We prioritize entertainment that enriches our experience, exposes us to different points of view and challenges our habits of mind (not just stuff we’ve already watched or read)
We don’t put our attention at the mercy of algorithms, we make intentional decisions about what we consume as entertainment
None of us are entitled to spend our time-consuming entertainment. It is something that is an option when we have already spent our time in the other more important areas of life.
We all are expected to have considered what our goals and interests are and what skills we are investing in developing.
As a family, we have a practice of checking in on these things to revise and update them every few (3) months.
As a family, we check in on the entertainment we’re consuming, share what we’ve gained from it and identify new things to consume.
Rules
Each night, beginning at 8:30, we take time as a family to reflect on our day and connect
Going forward, consuming YouTube should happen via YouTube Kids where specific channels have been added.
Because our lives are full and there’s a lot going on, our times for pure entertainment happen on the weekends. During the week, we all prioritize our commitments, goals and relationships.
On Sundays, we abstain from technology to observe a sabbath day of rest.
Update: For Lent, we are fasting video entertainment (streaming services, YouTube, etc.) for 40 days. We have put our TV away in the TV box and canceled subscriptions to redirect our energy to creative and caring past times.
*To discover your own family values and build a values-based approach to technology, sign up for my signature course, The JOMO Method, for only $149.
